How I Turned Grief Into a Full-Time Writing Career and All the Simple (but Not-So-Common) Strategies I Wish I’d Known From the Start
Steal this writing blueprint that helped me get over 480,000 monthly views.
An old business partner once looked me in the face and said, “You have zero creativity”.
He was right.
Scratching a creativity itch wasn’t something I had ever considered fulfilling.
Heck, I avoided anything expressive as if it was a ticking time bomb.
When I peeled back the layers to understand why I wasn’t writing more, one reason stuck out like a neon light: the perceived judgement of others.
I cared what people thought.
What if I wrote something and decided to put it into the world, and people thought it was garbage?
Folks’ opinions were crippling me.
Today things couldn’t be any different. I’m a full-time writer, and hanging out in the comments section means you need a thicker skin than an armour-plated vehicle.
What people say doesn’t impact me (as much).
I put it down to one devastating but profound event that changed my life and mindset.
I got the dreaded phone call from my brother to say that my mom was on life support after she unexpectedly collapsed.
I immediately booked a flight from Birmingham (UK) and arrived in Cape Town the following day. That walk from the car park to her hospital bed is something I’ll never forget for the rest of my life.
The nurses pulled back the curtain, and there she was, unresponsive but at peace.
My mom couldn’t get oxygen around her body, and the machine no longer supported her heart. I sat there in tears as her heart rate began to drop.
You could see the resigned expression on the nurse’s faces as if this was all a formality.
What you do in your life is underpinned by making your parents proud, and it’s everything I did until that moment.
I watched her die in front of me, and it changed how I viewed life.
Every aspect of life was different.
As a writer, it turned me into a savage.
My fear of putting my thoughts into the world and an absent appetite for creativity were something of the past, and the seeds of a passion started to grow for writing the more I watered them.
There were many bumps and bruises along the way; I wish I’d known these nuggets from the start.
Get ready to add these to your shopping trolley.
Address the voice in your head holding you back.
It’s fear.
I know because it’s what held me back.
Once you let go of this, it’s like taking the handbrake off.
When you lose a loved one, all the things you worry about or place importance on mean nothing.
Like me, at one stage, fear is holding you back from writing on the Internet because you’re a so-called “perfectionist”. No, you’re not. You’re scared.
You’re scared of writing badly.
You’re scared of people judging you.
And you’re scared of not being an expert.
Well, I’ve got some news for you. No one cares. People care about their own lives more. Also, no one has the combination of experiences you do in your life.
You are your niche.
I write about Crypto, Investing, Fitness, and now Writing. People who have that blend are few and far between.
Then when you add my background story of living on an Ostrich farm in South Africa to now living in the not-so-sunny UK, you’ll be sitting there playing 4-d chess, trying to find someone who can imitate that.
Promotion and self-branding make me cringe, but the combination of all your experience is unique.
So back yourself and what you have to say.
Write about the things you live and love.
Before Mom died, I wrote about people I was interested in and hid behind their worldviews.
I didn’t dive into subjects or experiences I was living.
I was scared of sharing personal experiences because I didn’t think people would resonate with them or even care.
EVERYTHING CHANGED when I wrote about my personal experience, and I was more prepared to be vulnerable.
It made the writing process more enjoyable, and the 6000 readers that followed me got a sense of who I was instead of this formulaic robot churning out stories.
I write about stuff I love.
People can sense greater depth in what they’re reading, and my track record of success is growing.
How you get momentum is to be ok with writing badly.
F*ck perfection.
Putting words down on paper is how you pull the acorn out of the river wall, setting off that cascade of momentum in your writing.
Think of it like fixing the plane as you fly it.
Don’t sit there thinking of writing the most attention-grabbing first paragraph; instead, be okay writing badly.
Just get words down on paper.
The act of typing will trigger off the momentum and get you on your way.
When you get stuck, add a place marker and move on to the next paragraph.
I’d sometimes sit for hours on one paragraph instead of smashing that first draft and returning later to make adjustments.
Be okay with procrastination. It’s part of the writing process.
You’re not a f*cking robot, so don’t beat yourself up if you’re painfully slow when starting.
Or you end up in a YouTube shorts k-hole because you got distracted; just pick back where you left off.
Do your best to cut out distractions.
Consider putting your phone in a separate bedroom, working from a laptop with zero notifications, and time block a period every day where you only write.
Accept that you will get distracted.
I have had many days where I honestly stare at the buttons on my laptop or relive arguments with ex-girlfriends and siblings and what I should have said.
You can be easily distracted doing a repetitive task like writing, and your brain goes to whacky places.
Writing is hard, so be kinder to yourself.
You’ll have periods where things ebb and flow. Ideas will come to you quicker on some days than others.
That’s how it is.
It’s like the famous writer Tim Denning says.
“Time flies when you write online. It’s a profoundly intense process that takes every ounce of concentration, creativity, and imagination one has. There are days when I feel empty like I have no ideas.
It comes down to how many sh*t sandwiches you’re comfortable throwing at you before you decide to quit”.
Consistency is your superpower.
In the aftermath of my mom’s death, I honestly shed every bit of fear.
Because of the lack of fear, I judged myself less, which meant I was less responsive to other people’s judgement.
I’d often sit and think how short life is and not even give a second thought to people sh*tting on my writing or worldview, which would also help me power past my self-doubt.
Ironically, this allowed me to get into a flow state and produce better writing.
I was posting more and finding my voice online, which was the gateway to connecting with my readers.
Always write from the perspective of WIIFM.
What’s In It For Me.
In every sentence you write, you have to think from the reader’s perspective as in what’s in it for the reader.
This one idea I heard Ayodeji speak about changed my entire approach to writing. It was a game-changer.
If you take nothing from this blog, take this one thing.
People are selfish when they write. They think readers care about them and their life stories. They don’t.
Readers care about WIIFM.
You’d have skipped past this blog if you weren’t getting something out of it.
If it were just about my mom and me, without the takeaways of writing strategies to help you, you probably wouldn’t still be reading.
Whenever you write, think about what’s in it for the reader.
Final Thoughts.
It all boils down to the most important thing: You must love writing.
Somedays, it’s a stressful process; in others, it’s frustrating not having any ideas of what to say.
I’m okay with it all because I’m okay hitting the publish button regardless of what people may think.
Don’t beat yourself up for things you’re not, and start leaning into who you are. Write about those experiences, but write about them from the reader’s perspective.
Address the negative voice in your head and be okay with procrastination and writing badly.
It’s part of being human.
I just had a cryptocurrency company specialising in health and wellness contact me. It’s a unique opportunity I’ve created from just being me.
I’m not the go-to guy in fitness, crypto, or writing, but the mix of all three is my superpower, and it’s as magical as a spell at Hogwarts.
You may not have experienced death as a shot in the arm to drive your emotions and make your “don’t give a f*ck button” the size of a jumbo nuclear warhead.
But you can still find a reason to write daily because the rewards are tremendous.
I’m no longer in the 9–5 rat race.
Most importantly, my work will leave an incredible legacy behind on the Internet that’ll be around forever.
If writing is an itch you’ve wanted to scratch, go for it.
Ask yourself. Why not you?
🙏🦾