One Inconvenient Truth About Losing Weight I Wish I'd Known Sooner
It's a cheat code that changed my life.
A marketing manager I worked with always used the analogy, "Jay, if you want to win a yacht race, you have to copy what the yacht in the lead is doing".
Whether true or not for racing boats, it's a life metaphor.
At 37, I shed 33+ pounds of stubborn fat by mimicking the behaviour of people who had already achieved the results I wanted. It all started by rubbing shoulders with them first.
The opposite was true, too.
I'll never forget what my former boss once said in a meeting: "Folks, we spend more time with people at work than with our own families, so enjoying being here is important".
That one sobering statement is a truism I've always remembered but interpreted in a different context.
It made me consider the impact the people I spent the most time with had on my thought process and the knock-on effects on my health habits.
Honestly, the yacht I saw out in front was uninspiring.
I'm not holding former work colleagues responsible for my six years of health and wellness self-sabotage, but you can bank the saying, "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with".
It makes sense now.
Everyone I spent time with spoke about getting healthier as if it was some impossible feat, and I was constantly surrounded by the "it's just how it is" mentality.
Things like:
"I have a slow metabolism: losing weight is nearly impossible for me."
"I've accepted my body the way it is: I'm comfortable with who I am."
"I don't have the genetics for a lean physique like some people do."
"I'm too tired after work to even think about going to the gym."
Why would anyone want to look like that (chiselled abs)? I want to enjoy my life, not be stuck in a gym.
They're actual things people said.
They may seem pretty harmless, but they became a Trojan Horse over time, ambushing my self-belief.
Once I broadened my circle of influence, my entire life changed.
You must accept that learning from trial and error (alone) may take decades.
This one is important.
I flicked on my Instagram, and a buddy who is a fitness pro was on video:
“Guys, I’ve been doing the fitness thing for 15 years. I have to measure and weigh my food. I’m still no good at eye-shotting it. If you’re having 4 to 6 meals a day and you’re 50 calories over each meal, you’ll never lose weight. Stop guessing if you want to get results”.
He's right.
But it's a symbol for fitness, not just tracking calories. I used to guess as a self-defence mechanism for uncertainties because there was too much friction in searching for the correct answer.
My default setting for anything where I didn't know the answer was, "Ah, this should be alright". Well, after six years of failure, I realised it wasn't.
I realised that the quickest way out of Guess-a-chusetts was to find an expert who wasn't making it up and stick to them like glue.
I knew I had to find the fastest yacht and copy how their sail was set.
That's precisely how I achieved a life-altering body transformation.
Birds of a feather flock together.
The late social psychologist David Mcllened once said: "The people you habitually associate with determine as much as 95% of your success or failure in life."
I wanted to get healthier because I wanted to do more things and be more active with friends, not restrict my time with them.
I'm not into pruning friendships either — that's not my style.
What worked for me was expanding my associations with people who were interested in fitness and who identified with the qualities I aspire to.
Or as famous self-development author Darren Hardy says: "The way to increase exposure and expand your associations is to find a peak performance partner".
It wasn't just about guarding against negative influences but gravitating to people with positive qualities.
In his New York Times bestseller, Hardy says this is true for all walks of life.
Page 131 — The Compound Effect
“Reach out to and identify people with positive qualities in the areas of life where you want to improve — people with the financial and business success you desire, the relationships you yearn for, and the health and lifestyle you’d love. And spend more time with them.”
Final Thoughts.
My point is this: Find an expert.
It was the simple solution to my outsized results with my health and fitness.
I needed to associate with people who'd expand my view of what I could achieve, not the pigeonhole I'd confined my mind to.
Once and for all, I wanted to remove all the guesswork and trial and error, get my head to a place where I could trust the process, and knock over the dominoes.
Sometimes, you get lucky. Someone in your circle of friends may have the answers.
Not for me. My route to success was to find a fitness pro.
Multi-millionaire businessman Harvey Mackay once said, "You may not believe it, but I have 20 coaches. I have a speech coach, a writing coach, a humour coach, a language coach, and on and on."
The bromide that "success leaves clues" is true.
It's fascinating to me that finding an expert is the first port of call for these mega-successful people and top performers.
People often say, "Well, they have the money to invest in those sorts of things,".
It is partly true, but I can't entirely agree.
The mindset of seeking out an expert and investing in tuition initially propelled them to success, and they've continued to prioritise it because it gets results.
It worked for me with my fitness.
It's something I wish I'd done sooner.
Special Offer for My Readers
Chris, the online fitness pro who revolutionised my fitness journey, is offering a free discovery call exclusively to my readers.
If you're ready to transform your fitness and tailor a plan that suits your unique lifestyle, this is your chance.
Tap here (hold your finger down if on mobile) to book your FREE call with Chris and start your journey towards a healthier, fitter you. (affiliate link).