Weight Loss Truths I Wish Someone Had Taught Me Sooner.
They’ll forever change the way you think about achieving your dream body.
Sometimes, I sit back and kick myself.
I was stuck in a constant cycle of setbacks, sacrificing my health for the corporate grind. It really didn’t have to be like that.
Every day was the same.
I’d drive to work, giving myself just enough time to beat rush hour traffic, usually without breakfast or any idea of what I’d eat that day. Armed with some loose change in my top drawer, I’d set the tone mid-morning by eating trash from the vending machine.
When that first chocolate bar and a packet of crisps touched my lips and were washed down with a fizzy sugar fix, I was like a dopamine-fueled addict for the rest of the day.
It set the stage for what I’d eat at lunch, leaving me wondering, “Jay, why even bother hitting the gym?”
That internal voice was like my unofficial spokesperson anytime I planned to do something hard, which screwed me up for six years.
I was using willpower to get myself over the line, and when you’re in a place of quiet desperation, like I was, clinically obese, weighing 223 pounds, I did everything I could to sabotage myself.
I’d shortcut into quick dopamine fixes of food drowned in cheese or anything sugary, then avoid exercise by doom-scrolling social media for hours.
Today, I’m a dedicated athlete, having lost around 56 pounds since the days of my former wage slave job, but there are some profound truths I wish someone had told me sooner.
Strap in, and let's jump in.
Start with a single spark.
One statistic that keeps me up at night is that if you’re obese, your odds of losing all the weight and keeping it off are 0.47%.
If someone had spelt out those odds for me, I’d have tossed the white towel in quicker than you could say, “buttered biscuit.”
According to the national health study, they say that:
“The chances of returning to a normal weight for someone who is already obese are extremely low: one in 210 chances for men and one in 124 chances for women.”
Yuck.
My problem was emotional, not some math equation, but I cracked it by accident when a virus outbreak locked down the whole world, including the UK.
Without a shred of remorse, my job sentenced me to the daily trek to the office.
There I was, sitting in that “fast-paced and exciting environment,” with divider shields between me and anyone with a pulse and a one-way system around the building that made me feel like I belonged on a conveyor belt.
It cranked up my anxiety to the point I couldn’t put a sentence together. It all resulted in an unexpected twist: I was so desperate to leave the desk I was chained to that I kicked off a lunchtime walking habit to shake off that tightness in my chest.
Within weeks, I’d turned into a full-blown walking addict.
All I thought about was going for a walk for the mental benefit of some fresh air, and I made no association with it being exercise or the fact that I was sewing the seeds of a habit that would lead to a life-changing transformation.
Things started messily, but I slowly turned that spark into a flame. One of my favourite authors calls this “The do something principle.”
In the book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F**k” the author Mark Manson says:
“The hardest part of any task is usually just starting it, but that’s also where the magic happens. Instead of waiting for motivation to strike, just do something, anything, really. Even if you’re stumbling and fumbling through it, you’re creating momentum.
This momentum is like a snowball rolling down a hill — it keeps growing and growing until it becomes an unstoppable force. As you take action, you begin to see progress, and progress is like jet fuel for motivation.”
Never disrespect BIG Mo.
I was starting to evolve.
My walking created a chain reaction — the more confident I became, the more I was itching to tackle more significant challenges.
Lunchtime strolls escalated into gruelling weekend hikes and a series of botched runs. Then, one day, I nailed a flat 5km run and kept at the same route for three solid months.
My routine naturally morphed into a $30 gym membership, where I stumbled through the same hit-or-miss process.
It was helter-skelter, stop-and-start, and a darn good mess, but I tell you one thing: I was developing some momentum — or, as best-selling self-help author Darren Hardy says, “Big Mo.”
He says “Big Mo” can catapult you into the stratosphere of success. It’s the one thing that defies those 0.47% odds I discussed earlier.
Darren Hardy — Page 94 “The Compound Effect”
“Objects at rest tend to stay at rest unless acted on by an outside force. Objects in motion tend to stay in motion unless something stops their momentum. Put another way, couch potatoes tend to stay couch potatoes. Achievers — people who get into a successful rhythm — continue busting their butts and end up achieving more and more. It’s not easy to build momentum, but once you do, look out!”
Beat the Mount Everest in your head.
Whenever I drop Jordan Peterson’s name, the integrity police come knocking in the comments — It won’t stop me from mentioning him.
He has a knack for explaining things in a way that speaks to me.
If you’re struggling to make progress, his simple philosophy for life is to clean your room. It’s a metaphor that goes far beyond just having a tidy room. He says there’s a rule when you want to get back on your feet: “You have to make the task small enough so you’ll do it.”
His message is “start where you can start”.
Jordan Peterson — Source
“If something announces itself to you as in need of repair that you could repair, then, hey, fix it. If you fix 100 things like that, your life would be a lot different. I tell people to fix the things they repeat daily because they tend to think of them as trivial.
You get up, brush your teeth, have breakfast, and have your routine. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your life. People think they’re mundane and don’t need to pay attention to them.
No, that’s exactly wrong. The small things you do every day are the most important things you do. Hands-down. You must ask yourself how I will improve this place (your room).”
It’s the ultimate metaphor for everything difficult in life. Make it small enough so you’ll do it.
My intimidation for fitness always brought me to a grinding halt because the 80s and ’90s exercise culture had drummed into me “no pain, no gain” or “feel the burn”. Gross.
My turning point in my weight loss journey was valuing smaller metrics that didn’t feel like I was climbing Mount Everest.
10,000 daily steps.
3 litres of water a day.
Stay within my 2000 calorie limit.
After achieving these three key metrics, “Big Mo” inspired me to do more, like running or lifting weights.
These high-intensity activities were my main focus whenever I started a new health regimen — almost like the gremlins I needed to conquer first.
Ironically, though they are now less of a priority in my fitness routine, I enjoy them much more.
Stop giving mistakes wiggle room.
Failing to track properly was my beginner’s blunder.
Before using apps like MyFitnessPal, I massively underestimated my calorie intake — sometimes missing the mark by thousands.
A significant factor in obesity is the misconception of eating healthily when you’re not. A study involving nearly 12,000 obese adults over 20 revealed that although 63% of these individuals believed their diet was top-notch, 70% of them had terrible diet quality.
Another study highlighted underreporting food intake is typical among people with weight issues.
Scrutinising my tracking like it was an actual balance sheet, where the figures had to be spot on, instead of eye-shooting my food or doing some kangaroo math, is where my results started to arrive.
Tracking becomes addictive and self-perpetuating because while I didn’t see immediate progress in the mirror, I could see it on the scale and through body measurements. I also started to get a kick out of scanning every barcode for dear life.
Or as management guru Peter Drucker says: “What gets measured gets managed”.
Cut out the microwave mentality.
Wanting results fast is how I went slow (for six years)
I was in a constant loop of false starts, and each time I failed, it eroded my self-belief.
A pivotal moment for my mindset came when my friend and three-time Body Fitness world champion AJ Ellison dropped a line that really resonated with me:
“Jay, whenever you choose to do something, it has to be something you’re prepared to do for life. I find diets that exclude certain food groups are far too restrictive and short-lived”.
He was right.
I was the guy who dabbled in dieting like some recreational drug user: Paleo, Keto, 5/2, Vegan, skipping breakfast, you name it.
It’s because I was in shortcut land. I wanted it fast, but it screwed me over faster. Impatience, desperation and ‘wanting it now’ made me search for quick results — a trap I’ve watched many folks stumble into.
It’s like Darren Hardy says:
Page 20 “The Compound Effect”
“Rid yourself of ‘instant results’ expectation — the belief success should be as fast as your fast food, your one-hour glasses, your 30-minute procession, your overnight mail, or your microwave eggs. When you see compounding results, you won’t pine for quick fixes or silver bullets.”
Not everyone you associate with will share your enthusiasm for success.
Some want you to fail.
The late social psychologist David Mcllened once said:
“The people you habitually associate with determine as much as 95% of your success or failure in life.”
It’s true.
When I worked that office job, people looked for opportunities to derail my progress by putting the Friday lunchtime treats on my desk or repetitively asking me if I wanted anything from the sweet shop.
Now I get it.
It’s not like you can drop these people from your life, but one hack of epic proportions instead of pruning your friendship group is to expand your associations with people on the same journey as you.
People who were interested in fitness and who identify with the qualities I aspire for.
Or, as Darren Hardy says:
Page 131 — The Compound Effect
“Reach out to and identify people with positive qualities in the areas of life where you want to improve — people with the financial and business success you desire, the relationships you yearn for, and the health and lifestyle you’d love. And spend more time with them.”
It’s that simple.
A 13-Year-Old’s life lesson
The lesson is Accountability.
I’ve been hanging out on Instagram reels, and a 13-year-old boy named Reed Harrington, who has learning difficulties, has amassed 565,000 followers.
He posted a video saying he’d do one push-up for every 100 followers he gained. So, the internet being the internet, thought, heck, we’ll follow him in our droves, and when we do, we’ll hold this guy’s feet to the fire and make sure he does the push-ups.
There was a crude inevitably to it all because the young man who was overweight was destined to fail, and the toxic internet was ready to delight in his failure.
The comments escalated to the point where the boy’s mom felt compelled to post a message on his page, explaining his learning difficulties and urging people to back off.
Because Reed is physically unable to do the push-ups due to his weight and age, he’s had to find other creative ways to fulfil his promise, like doing a karate kick for every 1000 followers.
The details of what he does as the activity are irrelevant. But Reed placed himself in a position where he became unintentionally, yet undeniably, publicly accountable.
I relate to this on a deep level.
When I made the mental shift and shared my fitness journey on social media, including with beer-drinking friends and before-and-after pictures here on this blog, any action other than following through on my words felt fraudulent.
When we see people not following through on their promises, it’s just a human trait that we immediately think, “Wait a minute. If I can’t trust you on this, what else can’t I trust you on?”
That’s why publicly expressing your goals is such a decisive, no-going-back tool — we want people to trust us. It’s like the church minister who preaches honesty but gets caught being a perpetual liar or doing something wrong. They can never regain that reputation when it’s in a downward spiral.
Engineering a situation where I’m accountable to someone else or a group of people instils the fear of god in me because I don’t want to let anyone down.
Today, I strategically make myself accountable to an online coach, which is why my fitness has been the most consistent ever.
Final Thoughts.
I wish someone had taught me these truths about weight loss from the start.
As a buddy once told me, “Jay, these aren’t just about shedding pounds — they’re a metaphor for life.”
Find the first spark, which will lead to “Big Mo.” It happened for me by removing the barriers of intimidation.
Understand that sustainable results will happen slowly, but you’ve got to eliminate any wiggle room for mistakes. With your tracking, be as precise as a surgeon’s scalpel.
Most importantly, spend time with the right people. People who want to see you win. And if you can — be accountable to someone else on the same journey as you, or better yet, an expert who can guide you.
If I can do it, why not you?
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