World-Class Entrepreneur Shares the Real Reason Insecurities Have a Hold Over You.

You're not pursuing your dreams for this reason.

Picture of Author and Garyvee

I've been addicted to Gary Vaynerchuck's content like a crack addict for eight years.

There's nobody quite like him.

He's a first-generation Russian immigrant who split toilet paper with family members to save money when he first arrived in the US.

Garyvee, as he's affectionately known, grew his parent's wine business from $3 million a year to $60 million turnover and then walked away from it with zero to start over at 35.

His cliche-free communication style is inspired by his grandmother, who lived during an era of Soviet subtlety.

You could've landed in jail expressing descent or criticism of the regime, so people often reverted to metaphorical language, leaving their true feelings open to interpretation and avoiding unwanted attention.

Ironically, it's turned the social media star into a cultural phenomenon, amassing millions of followers who cry their eyeballs out when they meet him.

Gary decided to leave his dad's liquor store because his father felt like "the senator with the empty briefcase." What that meant in Russia talk was someone who was in charge appeared important or influential but lacked meaningful contribution.

The briefcase was cash, and it was empty.

Gary was becoming the star, receiving plaudits for the success of the family business, which fractured their relationship and his father's old-school Russian pride.

When I spent an evening with him, he repeated everything he usually speaks about in his videos, except this time, he said ONE THING differently.

He used a clever anecdote from a film.

It came from the most unlikely question and struck a raw nerve.

Here's why your insecurities have a hold over you

My friend Katie asked Gary a question, and I'm so glad she did because it's now burned into my memory and slaps me in the face when I least expect it.

Katie: "Gary, I've struggled with confidence and body image; what would your advice be?"

Garyvee: "I love you so much for saying that out loud infront of us; you're taking control and subconsciously doing the right stuff.

I'm proud of you.

Everything is good when you put it into the light; you just talked in front of 50 people about your concern, which means you're in control or in the process of becoming in control.

It's 8-mile Eminem.

If you put a comment about your lines, nobody else can put out the comment about your lines.

Every single human here has got something".

In 8 Mile, Eminem plays the character of Jimmy "B-Rabbit" and finds himself in the final rap battle with Papa Doc, where he delivers a powerful free-style rap confronting his own insecurities.

B-Rabbit was having a rap battle with himself.

It left Papa Doc speechless.

B-Rabbit; 8 Mile — Source

“I know everything he’s ‘bout to say against me

I am white, I am a f**king bum

I do live in a trailer with my mom

My boy Future is an Uncle Tom

I do got a dumb friend named Cheddar Bob

Who shoots himself in his leg with his own gun

I did get jumped by all six of you chumps

And Wink did f**k my girl

I’m still standin’ here screaming, “F**k the Free World!”

Put your insecurities into the world and see how they lose power over you.

We all sat there in awe of what Gary was saying. He uses stories and modern context to grab your attention.

He's 100% right.

Once you put your insecurities out, you're in control.

Garyvee: “Every person here is scared about something: weight, hair, age, income, relationship or having skeletons in their closet.

You've got control the second you put that motherf**ker into the world.

Every second you keep it in some closet, it controls you.

We're all humans, and we all have stuff; some it's small and petty, and you're dealing with it very easily, but if you're dealing with something that's really bothering you, F**king make that video".

Closing thoughts.

You aren't doing the things you want to do because you care about what other people think.

You care about what they'll think if you fail, what it'll make you look like, and if it exposes your shortcomings.

They're insecurities that also had a hold over me with my writing. The first time I decided to be a writer, it took me three months to get my first blog out.

I feared the perceived judgment I might've received and hid behind the mask of "wanting it to be perfect."

Now, I take a leaf out of Tim Denning's book and mess up intentionally with speling errors and little paturn interrupters (analyse that last sentence wink, wink).

According to the American Psychiatric Association, the most significant feature of social anxiety is the idea that others evaluate us. It makes us nervous during speeches, job interviews or social settings.

You have the fear of a negative evaluation (FNE).

They are insecurities holding you back.

Garyvee says hell to that; think offence, not defence.

If something is bugging you, put your insecurities into the light and your lines out to the world before anyone else.

Soon, they'll lose their hold over you.

You're in control.

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