Your Fitness Has Fallen Off A Cliff Not Because You’re Lazy: You Just Need To Turn Your Tiny Spark Into Fire.
I’ve found the answer to set you alight.
It’s usually this time of year when everyone's New Year's resolutions are well and truly sent packing. I often used to beat myself up like one of Mike Tysons’s sparring partners whenever my fitness goals took a nosedive. The truth is sometimes all you need is a spark. I hope you get something from this blog that inspires you to take action.
It’s surreal.
Daily, I’m overwhelmed with heartfelt messages from readers who find inspiration and hope in my weight loss journey.
I melted 56 pounds, and I’ve kept it off.
Your comments fuel my writing and have become a significant source of accountability.
For six years, I knew deep down there was a person in me who wanted to get healthy and not be ashamed of taking my shirt off in front of a girl.
I used to be that person — the one who would cheerleader for others.
I’d compliment strangers in the gym, work colleagues eating healthily, or show admiration for anyone consistent with their fitness.
It’s because, deep down, I wanted it for me.
I had the spark in me. I just had no idea how to turn it into fire.
I was trapped in a cycle of relying on takeaways three times a week, enjoying beers with friends, and using my work hours as a convenient excuse to avoid the gym.
It was the pandemic that sparked a lunchtime walking habit to neutralise the anxiety in my chest.
It’s like my mate, Body Fitness champion AJ Ellison, used to say to me: “The overflow effect of getting your fitness in order will impact every area of your life.”
It did, and it has.
My walking created this domino effect because I subconsciously wanted to graduate into more significant things as soon as I gained confidence.
Lunchtime walks turned into long hikes and multiple failed runs.
One weekend, I managed to do a 5km run that was a flatter route than a billiard table. I repeated that same run for a good three months.
My routine organically evolved into a $30 gym membership where I seemingly followed the same miss-firing process.
When I arrived at the gym, I sat in the car, staring at the entrance for 15 minutes. I eventually walked in and sat down on a machine, using my phone as a distraction from the inevitable weight I planned to lift.
It was messy, but I was slowly turning my spark into a flame. It’s what one of my favourite authors calls the “do something principal.”
Mark Manson, the Author of “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F**k” says:
“The hardest part of any task is usually just starting it — but that’s also where the magic happens. Instead of waiting for motivation to strike, just do something — anything, really.
Even if you’re stumbling and fumbling through it, you’re creating momentum.
This momentum is like a snowball rolling down a hill — it keeps growing and growing until it becomes an unstoppable force.
As you take action, you begin to see progress, and progress is like jet fuel for motivation.”
Manson is right, but each rung of the ladder I’d take alone took me to uncharted territory.
When I gained momentum, my self-sabotage button turned my attention from ‘what I wasn’t doing’ to now what I stood to lose with thoughts of — ‘Jay, don’t mess this up — you put too much work into this to start at square one again’.
I realised I needed a firmer direction and stabiliser wheels because going alone was like riding with the brakes on.
Fitness was not a strength, but self-awareness has always been. I knew I needed someone to impress and someone I’d feel awful letting down.
Letting people down deep in me eats away at my soul, but I’m comfier than a pig bathed in chocolate, breaking promises to myself.
Sam Altman, the founder of ChatGPT, spoke to this phenomenon when talking about AI, but I relate it to fitness perfectly.
“Humans really care about what other humans think. That seems very deeply wired into us.
Chess was supposed to be one of the vicitims of AI. All the commentators said this was the end of chess. No one will bother watching chess again when a computer can beat a human.
It’ll be over.
Chess has never been more popular than it is right now.
When I read a book, when I’m done, the thing I do is I want to know everything about the author’s life, and I want to feel some connection to that person who made this thing that resonated with me.
Humans are just very interested in other humans. We are still very focused on each other.”
It speaks to how I needed another human around me to fix my fitness journey.
I care about what people think about me. I care about the dopamine hit of praise when someone notices I’ve lost weight. I care about not second-guessing myself or feeling if I am doing this right.
I know this about myself. It’s why I got help.
An old mate always used to say to me — “There’s someone out there who has solved the problem you’re trying to fix — the trick is finding them”.
After the missed steps with my nutrition, never tracking any workout, skipping leg day or not having a strategy to manage my binge eating cravings, I thought enough was enough.
I had come this far.
I needed a shield to protect me against myself and the bs life would throw at me, but also something that would keep my furnace alight.
So, I found a fitness pro.
I needed someone to call me out on my nonsense, unlike the lies I’d been telling myself in the mirror for ages. That’s where my buddy Chris came in, helping me knock off 33 of the 56 pounds.
Find help because if you’re anything like me, you deeply care about what other humans think.
Instead of it being Kryptonite that drains your superpowers, impressing another human can be the thing that fuels your furnace.
It was a significant piece that propelled my fitness journey.
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